I considered writing a light fluffy article this week. I wanted to write something sentimental, funny, carefree … unimportant. But,this year, Jud and I have declared ‘the year of living brave, but afraid.’ The year that we choose not to let fear determine what we try. The year we take the risk and face possible rejection or failure. The year we begin to remember and act on dreams. The year we ‘fan into flame the gift of God, … for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control’ (1 Timothy 1:6-7). With such a passionate desire to throw off the chains of the past, how can I ignore the historic moment of the Supreme Court overturning DOMA this week? Why would I want to gloss over such an important event?
Because I’m afraid. But this year, I vowed to live bravely. Despite fear.
I wept with others, as I read their stories in news articles. People who finally had hope. People who had fought so long and for decades to have our great country consider them equal and not separate. I heard voices rising up strong, reminding me of the 1960s Civil Rights advocates. I wept because laws cannot change hatred in hearts. I wept as I heard fear gripping so many as change sweeps across the country. I wept for the innocence that once was, the turmoil that is and the hope of peace that is to come. I wept with joy, triumph and prophetic understanding of the real battle to come–the battle for unity in our country.
In remembering history class, conflict surrounds most, if not all, of our nation’s history. The Revolutionary War, the Civil War, Women’s Suffrage, The Great Depression, Vietnam, Civil Rights and countless other political battles. Unity does not equal agreement. My dear friend, Jules, and I have known each other for more than 25 years. We met at church during our college days. She was one of my bridesmaids and we’ve kept in touch over the years. We share a deep love of the Bible, Jesus and living His gospel in this world. We have different ways of viewing some scriptures. We have different approaches in living out those interpretations. Yet, we love and respect each other like sisters. We share unity regardless of our heated debates, because at the end of the day, we know each other’s hearts and we love each other. We’re family.
In Sunday school, back when I viewed the world more innocently, the stories swelled in my heart. Yes, the adventure stories of people who followed God’s call and faced death and destruction for that obedience. I love action and adventure stories! But the ones that I continue to mull over and that bring tears to my eyes even though I know them by heart explode with God’s passion for all of us. Stories of the people Jesus healed and took time to know. Stories of the people who the religious leaders called ‘unclean’ and ‘unworthy’; but Jesus proclaimed God’s true nature of inclusiveness–not exclusiveness. Stories of ‘the least of these’ becoming leaders. Stories that go against all our human wisdom so that we look to God with sacred wonder and treat each other humbly and graciously. Stories that remind us that because God created us in His image, we stand united–even when we disagree–because we share His DNA.
Most of the time, we feel the need to demonize people standing on a different side than our view. If we create an ‘us vs. them’ environment, we don’t have to acknowledge that maybe we have accepted an overly simplistic view. We draw lines in the sand and say, “Anyone on the side where I stand is right, good and intelligent. Anyone on the other side is delusional, deceived and our enemy. They deserve whatever it takes as long as we make our point.” Anyone on the other side of our line is fair game. Some of us have forgotten how to play fair.
But how can we stand united with such strong emotions on both sides of any given issue? How can we ‘reach across the aisle’ when our leaders don’t guide us? Perhaps we can acknowledge the fear in many that we have neglected what our forefathers originally desired for their new country. Perhaps we can try to defuse the anger by calling out the fear in tenderness? Perhaps we can acknowledge the gaping wounds from intentional or unintentional attitudes. Perhaps we can try to ask each other to tell our stories. Perhaps we can see each other as neighbors and love each other as ourselves. Perhaps … perhaps … Please, God, let us live the ‘perhaps.’
So, I weep. I weep tears of deep gratitude and victory with my brothers and sisters who finally got a bone thrown to them. I weep tears of great empathy with my brothers and sisters who fear so deeply what they do not want to accept. I weep because I feel the victory and discouragement simultaneously. I weep because I feel the relief of souls at peace, who had labored long and hard and will never know the fruit of that labor. I weep for all my brothers and sisters who have ‘suffered mocking, and flogging and even chains of imprisonment… [Who] went about…destitute, afflicted, mistreated–of whom the world was not worthy… And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect’ (Hebrews 11:35-40). I weep for unity.
Will you allow yourself to weep with those in this country who are weeping over this decision, and at the same time rejoice with those who are rejoicing over this same decision? Divided we have no choice but to fall. United we have a shot at standing and overcoming our differences–ushering in a greater United States of America, one nation under God.